Farewell

by Deborah // October 12 2009

Well, I’m about to hand in my thesis, so this will certainly be the last ever Deborah article. So this is a bit of a farewell. I’ve enjoyed writing this column for the last 18 months and I know you’ve enjoyed reading it even more. It seems Canta is about to change, with the position of editor being disestablished. No doubt when the magazine turns to shit, the main reason will be no Deborah column.

I’d been getting a bit of feedback that my column has gone “soft” and there isn’t much time left in the year, so I thought, fuck it, maybe I should write something properly offensive. The thing is, nothing I have written has ever had the intention of offending, it just happens that when people of low cognitive ability interpret my work, their reaction is one of offence.  And to be honest, I simply don’t have time to bother with the so-called feelings of people with an IQ under 130 points. I’m not really even sure people that stupid have enough mental processing power to have real feelings. They have no chance of even thinking inside a box because their thought processes are so one-dimensional. The thing is you can say something that makes total sense and people just take it the wrong way. For instance, why are kids who get cancer considered brave? They’re just unlucky kids who have to go through horrible procedures for the chance of reaching adulthood. It implies there are some un-brave kids who get cancer and refuse to have the chemotherapy? I think this attitude is condescending to kids who are actually brave, you know, like pulling their infant brother from a fire or something where they actually have to make a choice about risking their lives.

The problem is that reality is not politically correct. Not everyone is created equal, get the fuck over it. If you don’t change your PC ways, you’ll disadvantage yourself for the rest of your life. It’s such a shame that it’s not compulsory in school to learn about logical fallacies and about the scientific method. If this was taught from a young age, it would decimate belief in pseudoscience/religion and would not only save lives, but also drastically reduce the amount of fuckwittery in society.

Just remember, that when you get annoyed with a shop assistant, parking warden or coffee shop worker, you are really getting mad at an Arts/Music/Science graduate. Is it really their fault for making such bad life choices? Yes. When you get mad at these stupid people, it proves there’s a little bit of Debz in all of us.

Actually, now that I think about all the time it’s taken up writing this column I realize that I could have finished my thesis months ago. Fuck you for reading. Seriously, I should be in Germany right now, where my new job is. But with my weekly contributions I have once again shown that I excel at everything I attempt.

And if you ever see me in real life, or read more of my literary work, be sure to remember the following words: Trust Deborah, she’s always right. <3